October 2023 marks 30 years since my first day of training as a HAVEN volunteer. I needed the hours for my school internship, and I wasn't thinking beyond that. Nine months later HAVEN would create a new position in the legal program where I had been volunteering. My first paid position with HAVEN was as a part-time legal advocate assisting shelter residents with restraining orders.
I didn't know I would find a passion in being a legal advocate. Helping with a restraining order means building a bridge between someone in danger and the judge who can grant them safety, and I took that responsibility very seriously. I accompanied survivors at their court hearings and supported them as they struggled for justice and safety in a system that so many times felt like it was pushing them back into the danger they were trying to escape from. At the time I met them, they had already decided to leave, yet time and again they had to justify and explain why they didn’t leave sooner or why they didn’t try harder to get along with the person who had harmed them for the sake of their children.
And I learned a secret: I didn't know how easy it was to terrorize another person and get away with it. I remember thinking, "We have to keep this secret. We can't let anyone know how much safety is an illusion.” All it takes is for someone to decide they want to target you. And then there's no stopping them."
I'd never had a lot of contact with the criminal justice system, or much reason to need their help. But I always knew if someone was scaring me, there was a system there to keep me safe. I knew that right up until I started working at HAVEN and hearing survivor stories. And then, I knew how vulnerable, and how lucky, I was in this world.
October 2023 also marks the passing of Yvonne Allen, Co-founder of the Stanislaus Women's Refuge Center. Founded in 1977 by Yvonne Allen and Pat Paul, the Refuge Center provided crisis line and 24-hour safe shelter for women fleeing from domestic violence and their children.
Almost 50 years later that same need for safety still exists, and HAVEN is still here trying to meet it. Thank you for partnering with us in that work.
Director's Corner: Update from our Executive Director, May Rico