Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror. Are you seeing yourself as you really are?
Or are you looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes? What messages are you receiving? How are these messages affecting your perceptions of who you are?
Verbal abuse in toxic or violent relationships often involves hypercriticism of the victim’s appearance, perceived sexuality, or character traits.
Insults such as stupid, fat, slut, dumb, and pig are hurled at survivors repeatedly. There is a breakdown of self-esteem and these words start to feel like truth. The belief blooms that you are “stupid.” You are “fat.” You are a “slut.” You are “dumb.” You are a “pig.” Nothing messes up someone’s head more than hearing things like this from someone who professes to love you.
Recovering from abuse takes time, effort, support, help, and commitment to yourself. Healing is not linear. Your healing journey will not be easy, but you are worth it.
This path is about taking one step at a time. It will take time to unpack these lies you’ve absorbed. Get help. Join a support group. You may hear a story that resonates with you. Reach out. Talk to people. You may have been isolated from your loved ones. Try affirmations. Add post-it’s to your bathroom mirror with messages like, “I am strong,” “I am beautiful,” “I can do this,” and “I am worth it.”
Healing is about setting boundaries not only with others but also with yourself. Try to be kinder to yourself. Learn to fall in love with yourself again. Remind yourself that you are the expert on your story. Realize that there is only one you and you are special.
Always remember that you are worth it.
Haven Can Help
Have you or someone you now been abused, sexually assaulted forced to work for little or no pay or to perform sex acts?
Contact us for free and confidential services:
Human Trafficking Program
(209) 248-4773
24-Hour Crisis Line (209) 577-5980
Main Line (209) 524-4331
Toll Free 1-888-45-HAVEN